The Premie Journey…A Roller Coaster Ride
I had previously mentioned this on The Sweetest Harvest Instagram page and likened the Premie journey to a roller coaster ride. As my first blog post on TSH website I thought it appropriate to recognise the experience as best and as accurate as I can.
As parents of a Premie baby we don't get the expected first "magical" months of our new baby's existence. Don't get me wrong, this isn't my first rodeo, in fact this was my third and I anticipated the sleepless nights, breastfeeding supply and demand expectations, the constant figuring what type of "cry" it was but those complaints are so minor when I think of the experience of having my baby in a NICU.
As a parent of a Premie baby your first few months consist of a myriad of medical staff, medical terminology, medical procedures, the beeping of machines, compressing sound of CPAP machines, constant washing of hands, demanding breast pumping schedule and all in a foreign, sterile environment. One which you must learn the rules of and then leave everyday. You leave everyday without your baby, a dreaded daily occurrence which you will never be prepared for and never get used to.
On my almost two hour drive home I would run through the day in my mind and would have anxiety until I return. Will my son be okay? Will he make it through the night or will I receive a call to urgently return to the hospital to say my goodbyes. Every day so many events and conversations would run through my head, both those that actually happened and the rest I created in my mind which I either dreaded or anticipated happening.
I’ll finish this off with words I have uttered before as they still stand true.
It has been a few years since I was inducted into the Premie Mumma’s Club but certain memories feel, just like it were yesterday.
The good, the bad and well, for a while there, that was it. The highs and the lows and the very little in between. The sheer mental and emotional stamina of a Premie Mother is awe inspiring.
It’s not a roller coaster ride we chose, but a ride we will commit to, to the end. The ‘end’ being many numerous events. One such ‘end’ I focused on was that final walk out of the hospital with Kai in his pram. Little did I know at the time, that, that ‘end’ would just be the beginning of a whole new ride.
